And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
