Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
