they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
