Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
A bitchslap is in order.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
