what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
