She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
