I can tuck mytits in my pants
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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