This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
