its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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