Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
