Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
