I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize