I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Randomize
