Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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