There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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