My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
