You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
