That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
