Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
