please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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