My boss' voice literally gives me gas
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
