No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
