saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
