he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
