HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
