How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
