You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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