i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
