I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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