it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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