pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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