Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
