You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
