Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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