38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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