He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
