I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
