Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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