I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
