i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So vagazzling was a success
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
