The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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