I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
