I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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