my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
