After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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