4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize