Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
In America we eat man semen.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
