I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
