What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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