And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
