i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
