guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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