I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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