She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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