y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
