Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
