well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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