i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
