I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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