apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
