is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
