final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
