i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize