I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
