This girl is more easily done than said...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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