During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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