Me too!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
