I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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