I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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