If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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