Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
