I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
