Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
