I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize